Deadly Breakdown
by onlyone87
Summary: This is my take on the whole Denny situation. In this story he watches whilst Izzie slowly breaks down completely and talks to something other then him. Involves various different characters from the show.
1. Broken

**Author's Note: Hi, I hope you like this story. Originally, I was going to have it as a one shot but then I envisioned an entire plot so here we have the first chapter. For anyone who hates the return of Denny don't worry it is not going to centre just on him. Personally I don't particularly like the whole ghost Denny thing so as this is my story I decided he was there but watching as Izzie spoke to something which is blatantly not him. Hope you all understood that because I'm not too sure I did ;-)**

**If you have a moment, I would love a review as they make me ecstatically happy. Thank you for reading.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing from the show or any of the song lyrics.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_I'm falling apart_

_I'm barely breathing_

_With a broken heart_

_That's still beating_

_In the pain_

_There is healing_

_In your name _

_I find meaning_

_So I'm holding on_

_I'm barely holding onto you_

_(Lifehouse - broken)_

_Izzie... _He watched her all time; it was all he could now. He was a ghost fading in and out of this mortal world. He did not know why he followed her so much; all it did was tear apart his heart repeatedly. When he had first died, he had shunned the light... mainly due to him being immensely pissed. The things she had gone through to get him that heart, and he repaid her by dying anyway. How callous could you be? Now all he could do was watch as she moved on. That is what he thought until recently.

He had seen Meredith here a while back, in these white walls, which to some were a place of healing, but to him were a prison. She had let go of life. Like him, she had felt mortality slip gently through her fingers and had not had the strength to grasp hold. Meredith had spoken to him about death and he had tried so hard to get her to live. Not for herself, but for Izzie. He could not bear the thought of her losing another person to this hospital. Therefore, he had fought and admittedly, he had rather lost. If it had not been for her mother, Meredith may still be here. Nevertheless, that is beside the point, he likes to pretend it was him. Passes the time somewhat. Anyway, who would argue with him over his thoughts? Apart from them.

It was not until Meredith had gone that he had realised how much these other people here annoyed him. The sacrificial girl, the bomb squad chief and the old woman who never had much to say. They were just a few whose moping was starting to get the better of his temper. Especially the chief... if he had to look at the man's smirk for one more day. Hell would be less of a punishment. Unfortunately being dead means you cannot kill other dead people, which at this point was not good.

So, he escapes them and goes to her. Her light calms him and an ache swells deep within his chest as he gazes upon her life. He had watched her when she had gone into a depression over him, slept with her best friend, and then loved another man. Of course, she had not loved George; he saw that, obviously her friends were blind to her struggle. It had pained him to see her try and love that man. They were friends but it was obvious how they led different paths in their relationship.

With the depression, he had laid for hours on the bathroom floor merely a hairs width away. Gazing into her broken eyes, he had raised his hand and laid it on her cheek. He had felt nothing beneath his frozen fingertips but the act was there. He knew that if it were possible he would draw the pain from her body and let her be happy. He had been there when all of her friends had tried to get her to talk. That was what had haunted him. His usually joyful Izzie was broken and he was responsible. Guilt still gnawed at his soul and he closed his eyes as memories threatened to resurface.

What hurt worse though was Karev. She really did love him. There was nothing he could do but sit and watch her fall for the man deeper and deeper. They were suited... two halves of a whole and all that. Call him selfish but he could not help it. He knew it was wrong but the thoughts entered his mind anyway. The night she had gone to Karev's room and repeatedly said how she felt had disturbed him more then he had wanted to admit. After witnessing her confession of caring to the young man, he had turned to leave. It seemed like the light was calling again. He had been so close to it he could almost smell the afterlife.

However, he had stopped. His footsteps had halted... and all because the next morning she had uttered one word. His name.

"Denny", the whispered word echoed around the room bouncing from the walls until they echoed loudly in his head.

It was impossible though; she could not see him but seemed to know he was there. Walking up to her in the hospital he had stood looking deep into her soul as she had looked right through him. He shook his head thinking he had misheard... it was obviously a figment of his imagination.

Not getting any response he went to walk away when she then stepped forward and essentially walked through him. For a split second, he could hear her heart beat and feel the blood coursing in her veins. It was without a doubt the most sensational moment of his afterlife. Unfortunately, it was over before he could really cherish being one with her.

Watching her walk away, he lowered his head confused. She had said his name... he was sure of it. Why would she have uttered it if she had not seen him? Baffled by this new turn in events he turned and went off to think. Maybe... just maybe... this afterlife would be worth hanging around for, at least for the time being.


	2. I'd rather be in love

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for the reviews. Here is another chapter and I hope you like it. I would love a review if you have a second.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Turn out the lights now_

_To see is to believe_

_I just want you near me_

_I just want you here with me_

_And I'd give up everything only for you_

_It's the least that I could do_

_'Cause when there's you, I fell whole_

_And there's no better feeling in the world_

_But without I'm alone_

_And I'd rather be in love with you._

_(Michelle Branch - I'd rather be in love)_

A week... a whole week since he had last heard her say his name. After the last indiscretion in the hospital, Denny had faded back, into what he liked to call the '_halfway hospital'_. Of course, whenever he said that the other three would just raise their eyebrows. Especially the bomb squad leader, hell he did not even know his name. Then again he never listened to them he was too focused on the living. The others had resided themselves to this situation, he on the other hand enjoyed watching the live ones. Especially his Izzie.

After he had faded back here, he had gone over to a corner and sat down. There he had stayed just thinking. He knew something was wrong he just needed to figure out what it was. Stupid really, how the problem was right under his nose and it had taken him a week to figure it out. Then again, he had the excuse that there was no blood rushing to his brain. That fact would make anyone a bit slow on the uptake.

After realising that, he had to help Izzie he had stood and gone to her. Fading back in he took a moment to gain his bearings. Eyes darting around the room he halted, focusing on the girl sat in the chair. There she was hugging her knees close to her chest with tears falling down her face. Her mascara had melted into the salty water and her hair had partially fallen down. If he did not love her, he would think she looked a mess. Unfortunately, the sight of her tears had him walking forward and bending until he was eye level with her.

Reaching his hand forward he made the motion of cupping her cheek. Once again, she just looked right through him. It was breaking his heart more that she needed him and he could not help her.

Shaking his head, he removed his hand and went to stand but halted when he heard her mutter something. Leaning forward he put his face as close to her as possible trying desperately to hear what she was saying. When his cheek was mere millimetres away, he concentrated on the words she echoed.

"Not real... not real... you're not real".

Reeling back he looked shocked at the thought that maybe he had been wrong about her seeing him. Lifting his hand, he rested it on top of her folded arms trying in vain to feel her skin. Nothing... that was all he felt. Nothing but air. Clearing his throat, he looked back into her eyes and whispered her name.

"Izzie".

Not getting a response he went to try again when the door to the bedroom crashed open. Getting up swiftly and spinning around he came face to face with the man he hated more than anyone else right now. Watching as the young man walked towards Izzie, he raised his hands as if to stop him.

"Oh no, you don't get to go anywhere near her."

Realising it was pointless trying to argue with someone who did not even know he was there Denny sighed. His anger had suddenly vanished as he watched Alex pick Izzie up and carry her to the bed. There was nothing he could do; this moment was definitely turning into one of the hardest ones he had, had in a while. Moving over to the chair that was now vacated he sat, leaning forward with his hands clasped over his knees. This was like seeing a horrifically bad film in the cinema but being unable to leave. All he could do was sit and watch as Karev lay on the bed holding Izzie and stroking her hair.

After a few minuets, which to Denny seemed like hours Karev spoke.

"Izzie..."

Trailing off he looked down to see if she fallen asleep. Hearing a muffled reply, he continued with his train of thought.

"Iz... what's wrong? You can tell me".

She had known this time would come. After seeing Denny over a week ago, she had been waiting for Alex to notice that something was wrong. Considering everyone else thought he was ignorant of others, towards her he seemed to notice every detail. Sighing she turned her head slightly and grabbed his hand that was stroking her hair. Clasping his hand between hers, she stroked it trying to think of what to say. How could she tell him that she had seen her supposedly dead fiancé twice now? He would think she had gone crazy. Hell, she thought she had gone crazy. Deciding to appease him for now until she could work out what was really happening she answered him.

"Nothings wrong... I just had a bad day. I'm fine."

Hearing the final phrase that, over the years he had come to dread when they were uttered by her, he nodded. He knew she was lying but unless he tied her down and tortured her, he knew she would not say anything. She probably thought she was protecting him. Nodding he let her lie to him.

"Okay, but... I'm here for you... you know that right".

"Mm mm," she replied suddenly feeling exhausted from crying. Feeling a tissue being pressed into her hand she looked up at Alex who just smiled shyly at her. Wiping her face of the evidence of her mini breakdown, she tossed the tissue into the trash. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she laid her head on his chest and began to drift off. Noticing that Izzie had fallen asleep Alex pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and closed his eyes. It was not long before he too had joined her.

Standing from the chair Denny walked over to the bed and crouched down beside Izzie. She was facing away from him with her head on Alex but he could still partially see her face.

Tilting his head he listened as she uttered one word, which he was glad Karev, was asleep for,

"Denny".

There she had said it again. He was now sure that he had not been hearing things. However, this fact also brought up a difficult situation. He was baffled as to why she would suddenly be remembering him so vividly. Standing up he stepped backwards and began to fade away. With one final gaze upon what should have been a private moment he could not help the one thought that continuously echoed within his mind.

'It should be me'.


	3. It's you

**Author's Note: Hey, I just wanted to thank you for your reviews. This chapter took me a bit a longer because I had to watch the scene repeatedly until I could write anything that worked with it. It isn't exactly like the show as I have re-written some parts****. I hope it is not confusing as it goes from Denny's side of things to Izzie's and back again. I tried to make it flow as much as possible. If you have a second I would love to know what you think, thanks for reading.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Baby it's you_

_When I look up in the sky I see you_

_Then I turn and close my eyes_

_It's you_

_When I'm sitting all alone in my room_

_Everything reminds me of you_

_The time is slow and I am sinking_

_Into a hole blackened with lies_

_And though I made it myself_

_You stand watching as my life passes me by_

_(Ryan Cabrera - It's you)_

Desperately wanting to bang his fist on the inoffensive table next to him, he stormed off coming to a halt at the door. Stuck in some kind of invisible barrier he turned slightly residing himself to listening to more of her fantasies. Denny had been here for 36 minuets and counting. When he had first entered the bedroom, Izzie had been pacing like a woman possessed. That part had been okay in fact he had paced along side her. In total the walking up and down had gone on for 20 minuets; not that he had been counting. It was the next part that had him... well... bordering on panic. It had starting with a mere murmuring of his name, which over the last week he had grown accustomed too. Then it was the muttering of "Dear God", which he had also come to expect. They were both... fine.

It was the fact that then she had started conversing with what was supposedly him. Not just the odd word either, a full-blown argument of some sort.

"I let you go... you were meant to go".

Snapping his head up at her words, Denny stepped forward confused.

"What", he whispered. He knew it was ridiculous answering but sometimes he could not help it. His subconscious seemed to think that if he answered her enough times she might eventually retaliate.

"I said goodbye... I burned the sweater".

Thinking back to yesterday he recalled watching Karev burn his clothes. When he had first stumbled upon the sight, he had tried in vain to hit the man. She had made that sweater. Izzie... his Izzie had spent ages painstakingly knitting that sweater and Karev had burned it. After he had stumbled or fallen through the man, Denny had turned. That was definitely something he should never had done.

There she had stood. She had handed it over and asked him to do that. Then to make matters worse she had turned as if it was nothing and walked off. Not even staying for the collection of the ashes. That had hurt... until now. Listening to this argument, he began to get the gist of what had happened. Laughing hollowly, he realised what she had done.

"You burned my sweater... you thought that would help you."

The realisation of her predicament assaulted his senses and the feeling of desperation spread through him. A tear escaped his closed eyes and rolled down his cheek as he whispered to her back,

"I'm not even the one you're seeing and you burnt the only thing to remember me by".

This realisation hurt worse then anything from this situation. He was truly gone from her life now. The only thing she would have were memories, and none of them were particularly good.

_xxxxxxxxxxxx_

Standing in her room Izzie shouted at Denny to leave. She had done everything she needed to. He should have left. Mumbling, "You're not real" seemed to have no effect at all and she was running desperately out of phrases. Maybe she should start praying. Tears streamed down her cheeks leaving track marks and she had no energy to wipe them away.

With her back to him, she could hear him trying to calm her and move closer. All she wanted to do was run but for some reason her legs seemed to have become broken. Therefore, she stayed stationary almost hoping that she could blend in with the background.

She managed to block everything he said until he uttered those three words. They were without doubt her undoing.

"Look at me".

Turning slowly hoping that he might get bored and leave, she finally fully faced him and looked up. That had definitely been her worse move. It was his eyes... she missed them more then anything. She knew it was ridiculous but she had always thought he had eyes that seemed to look right through her, almost like they could see into her mind. Unfortunately, at this moment in time they were settled on her. His face showed no sign of annoyance at her constant doubt but only concern and sadness.

Breathing in deeply she tried to clear her mind. He was not here. She was a doctor... a doctor who believed in medicine and things she could touch. Not ghosts. Especially not, a ghost fiancé. Facing him with her hands clasped loosely together, she tried to control her emotions.

"Touch me", he said as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Trying to ignore him, she closed her eyes and willed him away.

Hoping that her method had worked she relaxed a little until she heard him repeat the words.

"Go on... touch me".

Opening her eyes, she let go of her hands and hesitantly reached forward. It was useless arguing with him, he would not leave her until she did as she asked. Deciding to appease him her hand moved closer. Time seemed to slow as her hand moved closer and closer until...

Pulling back, she gasped as she looked at him. She had touched him. That was not possible. The problem was she had been brought up to believe in only those things that were real... things she could touch. Therefore, he was real. Needing a moment to gather her thoughts she stepped back and turned away.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Denny continued to stare at her back beiginning to get annoyed at the fact that she was having a conversation with God knows what.

"Your sick Izzie... how can you not see that", continuing he could feel the anger towards her building and he began to shout, "Your a doctor, your meant to know when someones sick. Hell your talking to yourself, I'm not there".

Feeling the helplessness override his anger he collapsed to his knees spent of any energy he had. Without knowing it, Izzie had turned and walked forward, putting her hand out slowly to touch something. As she stood in front of Denny who was still on his knees taking in mouthfuls of unneeded air she was oblivious to him wrap his arms around her waist. There was no real contact there but to him it was enough. With his, face resting as close to her stomach as possible he felt himself begin to cry. He had never been one to cry but his emotions were so overwhelming he felt like he was ready to break. Tears rolling down his face he looked up at Izzie and made one final whispered statement.

"I'm sorry Izzie... I didn't mean to get angry with you... but your sick... and I... I can't help you".

With that, she stepped back and turned away leaving the broken man on the floor who loved her to completely breakdown. He was the only one who recognised her problem and he was the only one who was powerless to help. His arms fell down to his side and his head dropped to his chest as he let the emotion from the past few weeks out in an anguished cry unheard by the world.


	4. Cure my tragedy

**Author's Note: Hey, thank you very much for all the reviews. Sorry it took me a while to update but on the brightside, this is a much longer chapter. I have already written the next chapter so I will update soon. Hope you enjoy this and please tell me what you think.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Everytime you cried it would take my wind_

_my heart would break_

_If I could be strong like you were for me_

_You are my faith_

_Won't you cure my tragedy?_

_Won't you cure my tragedy?_

_Don't take her smile away from me_

_She's broken and I'm far away_

_If you make the world a stage for me_

_Then I hope that you can hear me scream_

_(Cold - Cure my tragedy)_

She was so far away. The knowledge that she was out of his reach made him ache. He had not felt this far from someone since 5th grade, when his girlfriend had moved to Australia. He remembered the feeling of helplessness, only this time there would be no phone calls, letters or on-line conversations. This time he was simply an onlooker watching as the person he loved gradually faded away.

After his breakdown yesterday his throat was raw from crying out his anguish and his head ached from the overloading thoughts. Wearily he had laiddown on the bed and just stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours. He had closed his eyes and basked in Izzie'ssleeping presence. He may not have been able to comfort her but she calmed his emotions. Lying there, he had dreamed wistfully of what it would be like to be alive. He saw their life together and looked on in awe as he watched her walk down the aisle towards him. His breath had been taken by the elegant dress that clung to her figure. Unfortunately, the dream had ended as quickly as it had begun and this nightmare had continued.

Turning over to face her he had watched as her chest rose with the shallow breaths she took. A small smile graced her features and he had been taken with awe as her delicate mouth opened and whispered his name. It seemed like he was not the only one dreaming of their life together. This time was halted by the alarm clock ringing and her form shifting sideways as sleep escaped her. With a small smile, he had turned onto his back and patiently waited for her to come home from work.

When she had finally returned home though an argument had ensued. For over an hour, she had battled frighteningly hard with what looked to be herself. Denny was not stupid, he knew that she seemed to be talking to him. The problem was he knew that was not the case, which begged one question. What was wrong with her? Every time she whispered brokenly, he answered her knowing she never heard him. This habit went on in a loop and he seemed powerless to break it.

He heard her mention residual grief and could not help the chuckle that escaped. She thought this was grief. Shaking his head he turned exasperated as the situation seemed no closer to ending.

Watching her swing the door wide open he followed her, intent on finding out where she was going. Only a few steps were taken when she came to a halt in the hall, he watched as she swung around quickly and looked through him. This action caused him to shiver; it seemed no matter how many times it happened he would never get used to it. As she passed through him those similar, feelings occurred. Happiness and belonging coursed through his veins and he breathed deeply trying to regain his surroundings. Hearing no sounds coming from her bedroom he turned intrigued and walked back through the door, which had slammed, in his face. There he witnessed something, which shocked him and halted him in his tracks.

xxxxx

After last night she had finally turned to face him but Denny had vanished. Sighing she laid down waiting for him to return but had fallen into a deep sleep before being harshly woken by the shrill sound of the alarm clock. Before now, her dreams had been filled with images of Alex, now they were overrun with thoughts of Denny. Just thinking about him brought a troubled smile to her face. Shaking her head slightly she rid herself of the thoughts. So far she had been able to ignore him, guaranteed he had left her alone. Maybe he was upset with her for not believing him. It hurt her to think she may have caused him pain, which was the last thing she had wanted to do.

Entering her room, she removed her coat and changed into her nightclothes. The sun was only just setting but she needed to sleep; lately tiredness made her bones consistently ache. Lying on her bed, she gazed up at the ceiling desperately trying to gain the much-needed rest her body craved for. Unfortunately, her mind was processing too much information and was keeping her awake; she had actually touched him. It still seemed unbelievable and a small smile graced her lips. The nagging feeling persisted though that something was wrong. She was a doctor, so she knew that obviously something was wrong. She had until last night anyway, now she just kept repeating something she was told when she was little.

'Never look a gift horse in the mouth'.

Her mother would say that whenever she received anything. Now it seemed she was looking on this situation with the same take; as she had touched him, she could not possibly be ill at all.

"Izzie".

Sitting up startled, she looked at the intruder. Standing at the bottom of her bed stood Denny with that sombre look etched onto his features. It tugged at her heart and she stood up before moving to stand in front of him.

"Denny".

As he moved his hand up to her face, her body jerked back. She moved away stunned at the impulses she felt. She could not do this. She was a doctor... that meant she was sick. Laughing hollowly, she berated herself for ever thinking this situation was okay. As she sat in the chair, she looked at Denny once more.

"You can't touch me... okay. I mean I'm obviously crazy... or sick... that must be it, I'm sick."

Looking slightly startled at her apparent change of heart, he moved to sit on the bed.

"Izzie", he whispered as if the sound of her name answered every question she could possibly ask.

"No... Don't Izzie me, I'm crazy".

"You're not crazy", he replied somewhat amused by her rambling.

Sitting up she hugged her knees with her arms.

"Then what is this, what... what are you?" She asked confused by this whole situation. It seemed that her mother had been wrong withthe horse saying. She had received the gift and now she was looking in its proverbialmouth. Izzie had always been one for examining situations and Denny was not going to change that. Waiting for him to reply she tried not to lose sight of the problem.

"I'm a dead man who loves you".

Hearing that Izzie closed her eyes relishing the feelings that stirred when he uttered that sentence. She had to focus otherwise she would fall into a situation she knew she would never escape from. She wanted him and judging from his near constant smirk he knew. Opening her eyes, she regarded him and sighed. She could not do this.

"No... This is my imagination... I've always had an overactive imagination", she said rubbing her aching neck with her hand. She really needed to sleep.

Suddenly becoming more serious Denny looked away.

"Izzie... you touched me", he reasoned.

"I touched you when you were alive... and kissed you. Everything that's happening has happened, I... I'm reliving moment. This is just residual grief."

With that, she got up and walked to the door intent on finding somewhere else to sleep. She had to be strong and this... this was too much. Everything she said he seemed to counteract with something better. Leaving was the only option. Swinging the door open, she walked into the hall. Alex... she would go to him. He would hold her and make everything okay. Hearing whispered words echo from behind her she halted and span around.

"I guess the only way to test it... is do something we never got to do in real life".

Her brain seemed to shut down and she moved forward back into the room closing the door behind her. Thoughts of Alex left her, he was not home anyway. There was no escape and she seemed powerless to stop her body from reacting to his words. She wanted this and her entire argument seemed to have ended after he spoke. Watching as he stood up smiling, she took the hand he held out to her. As he pulled her in she closed her eyes waiting for the inevitable to happen. The kiss was everything she remembered and better; losing herself to him she became enthralled. She had tried so hard to keep him away and now... it seemed he had won. She had promised herself she would not fall for him. However feeling him gently lift the bottom of her shirt all her thoughts vanished and... she fell.

xxxxx

A look of horror etched itself onto his face and he staggered backwards. His eyes welled as they took in the sight before him. She was kissing that thing. To him it appeared to be thin air but he knew she was kissing what she thought was him. In some sick way, he could not help the feeling of satisfaction that she was still obviously in love with him. Disgusted by his thoughts he felt the frustration resume. Surely as a doctor, she would have noticed that this was wrong.

Looking down at the floor, he tried to think of something to do. He shook his head at his stupidity, and lifted his head to resume watching the scene unfold. She was oblivious to anything being wrong, and now she seemed hell bent on trying to prove herself. His feet began moving forward almost betraying his mind as they took him to stand in front of her.

He could not help but wonder what it would be like to kiss her again. As he lent forward, he stopped berating himself for his actions. Being incorporeal was becoming more and more painful everyday. Watching her undress he could not look away and went red at the sight before him. She really was beautiful. How he would love just one more minute with her, being able to touch her... hold her... kiss her.

This predicament made his struggle even worse and he wished he had the strength to leave but it seemed to fail him. He moved as close as possible and ghosted a hand down her cheek trying to feel contact. A tear fell from his eye as the hand went through her. Bringing his hands up he ran them through his hair trying to calm himself.

Turning his head at the sound of a gasp, he looked on as she moved slowly to the bed lying down. Her eyes had glazed over and she had stopped moving. It appeared that she had almost fainted but as Denny moved closer, he could hear small sounds coming from her. He laid on the bed beside her in the same position as earlier staring at the ceiling. Her mutterings were becoming louder and he closed his eyes to try to block them out.

Sighing he pictured what the scene would look like from above. Izzie lying in bed tangled up in her fantasy and him beside her helplessly listening as his soul mate loved another man with his name.

"Denny".


	5. In my head

**Author's Note: Here is an update and it is definitely one of the quickest updates I have ever made on a story. It is not that long as I broke this chapter in half. So think of it as Chapter 5 part 1. Hope you enjoy it and I would love a review.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_As the rain pours down I wonder_

__

If I'll ever be the same

Will I ever find some peace of mind

or slowly go insane

'Cause even though you're a thousand miles away

you're always in my head

in my head

Every time I close my eyes,

all that I can see is you

And I can't get you off my mind

I guess I'm always stuck with you

And every time I close my eyes

all that I can see is you

It won't leave me

_(Prime Sth - In my head)_

The groans became louder and Denny tried to block them out unsuccessfully. His mind was empty and the muttered mentions of his name echoed around his head. He had to get out of here - he was going insane. He had laid there for hours listening to this and not once did she seem to break for air. The person she was with certainly had stamina.

Suddenly voices from outside brought him to his senses. He turned to look at Izzie who was still frozen in place, the only signs of life where the loud noises echoing from her lips. Getting up from his position, he walked to the door to listen to the commotion. Maybe... just maybe one of them will help. Walking through the door he saw as Alex and Meredith conversed in the hall.

"That's not what I meant", pointing to the closed door she repeated her statement, "that's what I meant".

Looking at the door Alex paused. This situation looked bad and he made a note to add it to the already growing list of things to worry about. He knew she had lied the other day but now this was making things worse.

Seeing she was getting no response, Meredith tried again,

"If you're out here, who's in there with Izzie".

Watching the exchange between the pair Denny could not help but laugh. As sad, as this situation was he could see the thoughts running through Meredith's mind. He waited for her to connect the dots...

"Derek... Derek", she shouted hoping to God that he answered.

Smugly Denny leaned against the wall waiting for the inevitable to happen. This was definitely the best part of his day. After such a bad start to the morning, he could not help but relish the awkward silence in the hall. He knew it was evil to enjoy this scenario but he was already dead - it was not like he was going to go to hell. Not only that but the look on Meredith's face was definitely priceless. Opening his mouth, he decided to help her... or mock her, depending on which way his contribution was looked at.

"Derek", he shouted and with that, the bedroom door down the hall slammed open leaving Denny to clap his hands at the perfect timing.

"What... what, it's late", Derek said stumbling into the hall wiping the last traces of sleep from his face.

Trying to backtrack on her suspicion Meredith stuttered over her answer leaving Denny to laugh.

"Nothing... ah I... nothing."

Looking between Alex and Derek, she pleaded with the former to help her out. Shrugging Alex just continued to stare a hole into the close door. Denny saw his gaze and moved to stand in front of the door as if to shield Izziefrom him. It was obvious this lot were not going to be much use. He knew it was unhealthy to hate the man so much but he could not help it. Karev was alive and therefore was one step closer to Izzie - that made him worthy of Denny's dislike.

"What are you doing dressed, it's three in the morning?" Waiting for a response Derek came to a stop beside Meredith. Then hearing the noises from the bedroom beside the group, he raised an eyebrow.

"Who's making a porno movie in Izzie's room?"

Seeing Meredith shrug, both of them turned their attention to Alex waiting for some kind of response.

Seeing their gazes resting on him Alex sighed and bottled his thoughts up. He knew he should tell them his suspicions about Izzie but he decided to take a note out of her book. Therefore, he lied.

"Relax, she's flying solo... it's hot".

Cringing at his own response Alex promised himself that later he would talk to her... or at least make her talk to him.

Stepping forward Denny put himself between the three and slowly turned to face Karev.

"Excuse me but... your girlfriend is in there having sex with what she thinks is me... do you not think that may be cheating, or... I don't know... crazy".

Raising his hands in frustration, he shook his head as he watched the man knock on the bedroom door.

"These doctors today... do they not learn anything in medicine".

Not getting a response, he moved back and leaned against the wall in the same position as before. It was understood that as friends who were meant to notice everything they were bad. He may not like the man but Karev had the ability to help her and he was ignoring the obvious facts which were right in front of him.

"Iz lets go... we got an 'Appi' coming in".

Impatiently Alex knocked again when Izzie never answered him.

"Iz".

Ignoring the others behind him Alex kept knocking until finally after what seemed like hours she finally answered.

"Hey... hi... yeah I'm not feeling that great... I'm sick... so, I think I might skip it".

Trying to find an excuse Izzie finally decided on what would be the best line to give him. She knew he probably would not believe her but she hoped he would at least pretend to.

"You okay", he asked concerned. Maybe she really did have an excuse for not coming with him.

"I don't know... I think I might have the flu or it might be food poisoning or something".

Raising an eyebrow at her diagnosis, he tried to disguise his need to laugh. It hurt that - that was his first response but he was so tired of being passed over when it came to her opening up. He knew she was lying but there was no way she was going to admit anything to him.

"You're sweating".

At this Denny walked backwards through the wall to stand beside Izzie. Rolling his eyes at the question, he answered sarcastically,

"Yeah well hours of sex will make you a bit hot".

Sighing at the fact that nobody could hear his great add-ons, he walked back over to the bed and sat down.

At Alex's question, Izzie's mind began to wander to the past few hours. She knew she should feel guilty but she could not help the way she felt. Her dead fiancé was waiting for her in her bed. It really was too good to be true. Realising that Alex was waiting for a response she shook her head and sighed,

"Yeah I'm hot", as she heard her answer she noticed how it sounded and amended it,

"... And cold. Hot and cold... I have the chills."

To her that sounded like a reasonably good excuse however to Alex it sounded terrible. Sighing he nodded. She was never going to talk to him and the quicker he realised that the better... for both their sakes.

Reaching a hand out to hers, he rubbed his thumb along the back and stepped forward to kiss her cheek.

"Do you want me to stay…? I can skip the 'appi'".

Seeing her shake her head he kissed her properly and felt her respond. At least she would still give him this part of herself. For now, he could live with that, but he knew that would not last. He wanted more; for once, he actually knew what he wanted - her. Pulling back, he gave Izzie a small smile.

"Okay... I'll see you later. Get better; if you need anything page me."

"Yeah I will... good luck", she replied, the guilt beginning to sink through the haze she had been in. He was a lovely person and did not deserve this. Watching as he left, she slowly shut the door and walked back to the bed. Sitting on the edge, she was oblivious to Denny next to her.

He knew what she was thinking. Izzie was a too much of a good human being to not feel bad about this. Turning his head, he reached a hand out and placed it on top of hers, which had a death grip on the sheets. He ached for her because she was in pain. His earlier amusement had vanished as soon as she had turned away from the door. He had seen the tears well in her eyes and it broke him. Sighing he got up and knelt in front of her as if she may be able to hear him if he was close enough.

"Izzie... you have to stop this. You are going to break apart. Please, I've never begged for anything but I am now. Get help."

Watching as she got up he lowered his head and faded out of the room. He needed to think and gather himself together. He could not do that here she was too distracting. As he left, he looked up at her circling the room and whispered the words he knew would not be repeated.

"I love you".


	6. You can still be free

**Author's Note: Hey, thank you to anyone reading this. I hope you like the update. In addition, I own absolutely nothing from Grey's Anatomy or any of the song lyrics. I know it is all very depressing.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_Cool breeze and autumn leaves_

_Slow motion daylight_

_A lone pair of watchful eyes_

_Oversee the living_

_Feel the presence all around_

_A tortured soul_

_A wound unhealing_

_No regrets or promises_

_The past is gone _

__

But you can still be free

If time will set you free

_(Savage Garden - You can still be free)_

He had gone back to his corner in the 'halfway hospital' and had sat there as time slowly ticked by. It was not productive but he could not think of anything that would be. Laughing uncontrollably, he shook as tears made their descent down his cheeks. It was not the normal reaction but he was near breaking point and his mind snapped. His body racked with guilt over the situation. After what seemed like hours he slowed to a stop as weariness took hold. Who knew a ghost could be tired? Leaning his head back against the wall, he closed his eyes. Making a promise to himself, he assured anyone listening that he would try to let go. This was killing him... again. He knew the only way to save his sanity was by giving Izzie privacy. With a small nod, he opened his eyes and left to see her one more time. After all, she was an addiction and even addicts needed one last fix. Fading in he watched as Karev and Izzie walked up the stairs towards their bedrooms.

Standing up, he tilted his head and noticed how resigned she seemed. She wanted to tell Karev about what was happening. He could always read her thoughts and he knew if he held out long enough, she would cave. Looking up at the ceiling, he made a silent prayer that she would be able to find the strength to get through this. Eagerly awaiting her to say the words she needed to, he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. Anticipation filled the air and he waited with baited breath as she began.

There... she had grabbed his arm and halted Karev's entrance to the bedroom. Denny had been waiting for this moment.

"Alex wait", grabbing his arm she stopped Alex leaving and waited as he turned back. She needed to do this - he would understand.

Looking up she noticed how his attention was soley on her and it made her backtrack slightly. She had been ready to blurt out the situation and now... taking a breath she tried again.

"I'm a mess... I'm a flat out freaking mess. I know that, I know, and... I'm sorry."

Her mind was racing and she rolled her eyes at the state of her speech. All this practice and she was in a state. At his confused look she continued.

"You deserve a lot better". That was it. It was not quite what she was going to go with, but it got her point across... sort of. As she went to finish he interrupted abruptly.

"Stop", he knew where this was going and he could not let her finish. Once Izzie had it set into her mind that she was not good enough he knew she would withdraw more. He could not let that happen. He had not gone this far to let her slip through his fingers. He knew he had been a bit harsh with his tone but he needed to stop her. At her baffled look he sighed and changed his mind, giving in - he wanted her to talk to him but she sounded like she wanted an excuse to leave him. If it would make her happy then he would let her. It amazed him really; Izzie was the only woman to ever leave him. Normally she left and it was his fault but this time he really thought she would stay. He could not force her to be with him, he felt too much for her. All he could do was hope she would still talk to him. There would be one condition though. She would have to break up with him... he knew as much as he would let her go, he could not be the one to initiate it. For the first time ever he had feelings strong enough to be love but for her he was willing to have his heart broken. If she wanted that, then so be it. Breathing deeply he continued, noticing she was waiting for him to say something.

"Look, if you don't want to be with me. If this is too much for you right now... it's okay... but you're going to have to break up with me - because I'm not going anywhere." With that said, he waited on tenterhooks for her reply. He just hoped it would not result in the destruction of his feelings.

"I don't want to break up with you".

Hearing those words he smiled and a sense of elation spread through him. She had chosen to stay with him and he could not help the smile that fell onto his face. Nodding he lifted his hand and cupped her cheek.

"I can handle the mess. It's up to you."

As she smiled back, he let his hand drop and turned to resume his mission to sleep. He was tired before but after the panic, he felt in the last few minutes, he was also emotionally drained. He would wait for her to say what she really wanted to say. He was not stupid - he knew this conversation had not gone the way she planned. As he opened the door to the bedroom he turned back, realising she was not following.

Meanwhile, Denny had moved away from the wall and over to Izzie. He wanted to give her strength and hoped she might somehow feel him there. He had rolled his eyes as this conversation had turned away from the desired destination. Recalling why he was here, he stood behind her. Standing there so close to her he closed his eyes and inhaled. He was sure he could almost smell her scent. That distinctly Izzie smell that he had loved so much when he was alive. He imagined himself this close to her and being able to breath in her shampoo with his arms clasped around her. Trying to hold onto the memory, he closed his eyes tighter willing away the harshness of reality. He needed to commit this to his mind, as this would be the last time he came back. It was harder to leave her every time and he needed to break that. Ghosting his hands over he arms, he was brought back by Karev's words.

"You coming".

Opening his eyes, he looked on as the man walked through the door and out of sight. He waited patiently for Izzie to follow but she just stood there almost as if she was stalling for something... or someone. Noticing her glance at the open space to her bedroom, he saw her questioning gaze. She was waiting for permission. Stepping forward as close as possible, he lent his head down until his mouth ghosted against her ear.

"Go to him".

With that said, he let his arms drop and stepped back hoping that she would follow his unheard advice. Surprise filled him when she indeed began to walk forward following Karev's footsteps. Maybe she had beaten whatever had a hold on her. His elation was short lived though as she halted at the doorway and turned once more to her bedroom.

"I'm sorry, I can't", she whispered almost brokenly.

Moving a few steps, he blocked her view of the door, rolling his eyes at his actions. Smiling slightly his eyes watered at what he was about to say.

"Go Izzie... he loves you, and... he can be there for you", looking down as he heard her turn and shut the door he closed his eyes from the pain he could feel burning him. With one final whisper, he let the tear slide down his cheek that had been threatening to escape.

"I'm trying to let you go Izzie".

Those words seemed so much harder out in the open and he cringed at the deafening silence. He knew in his heart that he had been coming to this point for weeks but now he had actually made it he was hurt. It was destroying him to let her go, but for his sanity, he knew he had to. Karev had a beating heart and could be there for her... like Denny wanted to so much. Turning dejectedly he faded out as the sounds of laughter echoed from the closed bedroom. This would be his final goodbye. Karev was a good man despite how much he hated him. Denny knew that she had changed Karev for the better and for that, she should be fine. He just hoped Karev could help her, as he was helpless to. Looking over his shoulder, he gazed at the closed door with one final question playing through his mind.

'Why did doing the right thing always hurt so much?'


	7. Wherever you will go

A/N - This is just a short chapter but the next will be longer. I hope you enjoy it.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_If I could, then I would_

_I'd go wherever you will go_

_Way up high or down low, I'd go wherever you will go_

And maybe, I'll find out

A way to make it back someday

To watch you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days

If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all

Well then I hope there's someone out there

who can bring me back to you

_(The Calling - Wherever you will go)_

For hours, Denny had sat in corner and willed his mind to think of anything of but Izzie. Unfortunately, after a while the bomb squad man had shown up and now seemed to be lecturing him about something. He had tried to listen but really just wanted to be alone to sulk over the problems he was facing. He knew he had done the right but still felt guilty. It was almost as if he had let her down. Brought out of his stupor by a raised voice Denny looked up at the man. He had enough of the talking. He had not asked for help and wanted to be alone. Deciding it was best to be cruel he cringed internally at his tone - he may find him annoying but he did not hate the man.

"I'm sorry... when exactly did I ask for your input".

Stopping his pacing the man opposite tilted his head and considered the question. Shrugging his shoulders, he answered.

"You didn't, but you need some-one to talk to".

Sighing Denny banged his head on the wall behind slightly frustrated.

"And this has to be you".

Spreading his arms, the man dramatically signalled to the empty space around them.

"Do you see anyone else here? In case you hadn't noticed there aren't many people in this place".

Rolling his eyes Denny glared at his opponent.

"Fine... point made", as he went to lean back and close his eyes a thought occurred to him and he sat up sharply, "What's your name anyway?"

Exasperated the man stepped closer and crossed his arms. Slightly irritated by the question he raised an eyebrow.

"You know me as bomb squad guy don't you?" Seeing Denny's sheepish look and shrug, he sighed.

"It's Dylan... I told you ages ago but obviously death seems to have decreased the level of brain cells you own".

"Hey... I have a bunch of brain cells. I was just a bit preoccupied... and I thought you were meant to be helping me not insulting my intelligence".

Stepping back and holding up his hands Dylan continued his previous speech.

"As I was saying... do you really think sitting here moping is helping her".

"Well what do you suggest…? I am a ghost... incorporreal. I can't do anything to help her".

Walking forward, Dylan sat down beside Denny and lent back thinking of a solution. After a few minutes of silence he spoke.

"Have you ever wondered why your here?"

"What".

Glancing sideways Dylan continued his point.

"Look, this is a hospital, right. So where is everyone? I mean... we died and were brought here... have you not wondered where everyone else who dies in the hospital is. Haven't you ever thought that maybe us few have been brought here for a reason?"

Opening his eyes Denny turned, "And do you by any chance know what that would be".

Hearing the sarcasm dripping from the question Dylan glared.

"Look I'm trying to help and biting my head off is not helping anyone. Now... think about it. You can see and listen to everything she does, but you can only go to the places she visits."

"Yeah"

"Well... maybe your here to learn ... you're not here for her... but you're here for you"

Intrigued at the man's answer Denny considered it - he did after all have a point. Nodding slightly he answered him.

"Okay that sort of makes sense... but what do I have to learn".

"No clue... I just give the ideas not the solutions".

Laughing at the answer Denny patted Dylan on the shoulder.

"Fair play".

Suddenly pain shot through him and he gasped, halting Dylan's reply. He could feel a tugging - some kind of pulling force. He could not shake it and as he tried to ignore it, the feeling got worse. He was needed somewhere. Shaking his head to try to break the chains he ignored the question aired.

"What's wrong?"

As he stood, he felt himself drifting out. He tried so hard to stop the process but he seemed powerless. Closing his eyes, he blocked out the surrounding light but opened them when he heard voices. He gazed at Izzie pacing up and down in the midst of an argument. Stepping back, he looked around wildly as if to see some kind of practical joker hiding in the corner. Seeing no one there, he fell back into the chair behind him and sighed.

It looked like Dylan may be right. He needed to learn something from this situation. Leaning back, he folded his arms and willed himself to concentrate on the scene in front of him. Listening to every word she shouted, he looked up towards the ceiling.

"If I have to be here to learn something can I at least have a notepad".

Obviously, not getting a reply Denny sighed again and looked back at the argument. This was definitely going to take a lifetime. It was just as well he had all the time in the world.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Please review if you have a moment.


End file.
